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Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness., Lamentations 3:22-23Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight., Proverbs 3:5-6But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary., Isaiah 40:31Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God., Philippians 4:6-7The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing., Psalm 23:1Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go., Joshua 1:9For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future., Jeremiah 29:11Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest., Matthew 11:28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose., Romans 8:28God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble., Psalm 46:1For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life., John 3:16For we live by faith, not by sight., 2 Corinthians 5:7Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path., Psalm 119:105I can do all this through him who gives me strength., Philippians 4:13So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you., Isaiah 41:10I lift up my eyes to the mountains, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth., Psalm 121:1-2Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see., Hebrews 11:1Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud., 1 Corinthians 13:4But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control., Galatians 5:22-23Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart., Psalm 37:4But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well., Matthew 6:33The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you., Zephaniah 3:17Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness., Lamentations 3:22-23Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight., Proverbs 3:5-6But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary., Isaiah 40:31Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God., Philippians 4:6-7The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing., Psalm 23:1Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go., Joshua 1:9For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future., Jeremiah 29:11Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest., Matthew 11:28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose., Romans 8:28God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble., Psalm 46:1For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life., John 3:16For we live by faith, not by sight., 2 Corinthians 5:7Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path., Psalm 119:105I can do all this through him who gives me strength., Philippians 4:13So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you., Isaiah 41:10I lift up my eyes to the mountains, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth., Psalm 121:1-2Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see., Hebrews 11:1Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud., 1 Corinthians 13:4But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control., Galatians 5:22-23Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart., Psalm 37:4But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well., Matthew 6:33The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you., Zephaniah 3:17
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7 October 2026

How do I know when to speak and when to stay silent?

By Matthew (Tolu) Olowoyeye

Scripture

Proverbs 17:28

Discernment in knowing when to speak and when to remain silent is a wisdom that often develops with spiritual maturity and a close walk with God. It's not always about having the perfect words, but about having the right spirit. Before speaking, consider if your words are truly necessary, if they are edifying, and if they are spoken in love. Answering quickly can lead to regret, but pausing to invite the Holy Spirit's guidance allows for a more thoughtful, grace-filled response. This pause is crucial for aligning your heart with God's.

Learning to hold your tongue isn't about avoiding difficult conversations, but about choosing the right moment and the right manner. Sometimes, silence speaks volumes, conveying empathy, respect, or even strength, where words might only fuel a fire. It allows space for understanding to grow, for emotions to settle, and for the other person to be heard. True active listening, which requires silence on our part, is a powerful way to show love and build bridges, even if we ultimately disagree.

wisely states, "Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered Oprudent." This doesn't mean we should always be silent, but it highlights the immense value of thoughtful restraint. Before you speak, ask yourself: Is this true? Is it kind? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? If your words don't pass through at least one of these filters, it might be better to remain quiet and pray for clarity.

Ultimately, our aim should be to speak words that reflect Christ and bring glory to God. This means cultivating a heart that is slow to anger and quick to listen, always seeking to build others up rather than tear them down. When in doubt, err on the side of prayer and patience. Trust that God will provide the words you need, or the grace to remain silent, at the appointed time. His wisdom is our truest guide in every interaction.

Prayer

Lord, grant me the wisdom to discern when to speak and when to be silent. May my words always bring grace and truth, reflecting Your heart. In Jesus' name, amen.

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